Okay, I'm back and Im here to talk about exactly what you think I'm here to talk about: the Mother. Fucking. Jonas Brothers. After a six year hiatus (and ten since I've seen them together in concert), having them release new music this past week opened up the floodgates to a sea of emotion I thought I'd left between when I was thirteen.
It's crazy.
I've spent the last four days as I used to in middle school, getting up early to listen in on their radio interview and be the 100th caller to win concert tickets, trying to find any photo, update or hint at new tour dates or merch, but this time around it's so much easier for me to do. JoBros content is everywhere.
Where I used to have to hunt down my J-14 magazine clippings and centerfold posters, unfold them and lay them flat under my mattress to undo the creases, storing what I'd cut out with scissors in a beautifully decorated folder, I now just have to press a button. And when I do, more content than I could ever see in my lifetime pops up of all sorts--music, interviews, red carpets, photos I've seen a million times and those I've never seen before.
It's an intense reminder that I'm not a kid anymore, and that I haven't been for quite some time. Where I used to have to guess how I might be able to catch a glimpse of my favorite celebs, now I can take a screenshot of a tweet about a snapchat and a facebook tagged location, and piece them all together to know where people like the Jonas Brothers are. It's creepy, it's weird, and it's so interconnected in a way that is giving fangirldom a period of renaissance bigger than I remembered. Like, this is caring about celebrity bullshit as an adult. Shit.
And in the weirdest way, it feels so good to be back to bopping down the street to those voices, except it's from the stream of my cellphone instead of my ipod nano. This frenzy and excitement surrounding the Jonas Brothers makes me feel like I felt before loss, debt, anxiety, depression, heartache, loneliness, and more changes than I ever thought I'd go through as a "grown up." Now I'm here, in this period of time that I fantasized about a thousand times as a tween, and it looks both like nothing and everything I thought it would.
But regardless of what it looks like, I made it, I'm here, and so are the Jonas Brothers. Really, who would have thought? And them being back makes me feel the kind of naïve, girlish happy I've suppressed in exchange for being "taken seriously." I feel a little more normal, and like a little less of a drag. I'm letting myself indulge in these nostalgic feelings with my family and friends as we laugh about the fact that our feelings are so strong, it's like the Jonas Brothers never broke up. It feels a little like maybe I never grew up at all too, but like, in a good way.
Basically, even thought this post took me almost 3 weeks to finish I am Feeling All The Feels thanks to The JoBros during a time where work, relationship, and mental health wise I am really changing a lot. But the more things change, the more things stay the same...I guess?
Anyways, Jonas Forever, thank u.
(also, yes,
the title of this blog post IS a nod to Burning Up, thanks for noticing)
- LW